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. Stubbornness
The man in andropause

It has to be enough at some point. Vegetables, feminism, new spelling rules. Intimate hygiene: please, no more new stuff! All this modernist nonsense is fucking up my brain and makes the world a worse place, in other words, a more confusing and shit world for me. I already know everything a man needs to know: how to pull a spark plug with my teeth, how the chicks tick and how to fire a bazooka.

That's enough.
more Uli Hannemann: »Oh No, Boomers« When Things Suddenly Get Better In The Past One day, the mature man comes to the conclusion that he no longer needs to learn anything new, not to mention experience anything new. After all, he has already experienced everything, and, hand on heart, most of it was superfluous and not particularly pleasant anyway. Above all, however, new things are stressful. At some point, enough is enough with the stress. Why did we go through eight or ten or even thirteen agonising years of school, plus overtime? It has to be enough at some point. Vegetables, feminism, new spelling rules. Intimate hygiene: please, no more new stuff! All this modernist nonsense is fucking up my brain and makes the world a worse place, in other words, a more confusing and shit world for me. I already know everything a man needs to know: how to pull a spark plug with my teeth, how the chicks tick and how to fire a bazooka. That's enough. Brandt or Strauß, Geha or Pelikan, Beatles or Stones, Rakers or Zervakis, the most important decisions in life have long been taken, the course is set. Why form an opinion when I already have one? And it fits every new topic – with a gentle hammer blow, every piece of any puzzle fits into its place. My wife often tells me to move. but I already moved once. I also don't need to move house. I already have a place to live. I don't want to meet new people either, I already know some. Or rather, I used to know some. When they started to disagree with me, I unfriended and blocked them. It was all done the old-fashioned way – we exchanged a few cheeky remarks and then stopped answering the phone.

People used to say I was inflexible, stubborn and obstinate. I'll take that as a compliment. After all, the german word for stubborness, »Starrsinn« is only three letters away from »Starksinn« - strong-mindedness.

»Weak-minded loses keys, strong-minded wins wars«, my clever urologist Zbigniew recently quoted a Masurian bon mot while gently decalcifying my urethra with a hot knitting needle.

And he's right: of course I'm always right about everything. This is ensured by my life experience, which has the great advantage of being well and firmly conserved and not, as is the case with so many young people, stirred up by constant input and therefore lastingly clouded. Even »discourse« and »reasoning« are just synonyms for »spinelessness« and »indecisiveness«. Now this, now that. The flighty mice could learn a lot from my ironclad principles. With me, things aren’t one way today and another tomorrow. They’re always the same. And that is yesterday. Post Kimmel Sing Sing Primer (2025) Sing Sing Prison Concert (1972)
Chorus Scene from Jon Stewart´s Post Kimmel primer on free speech in the glorious Trump era The Daily Show

Oh no, Boomers!
When Things Suddenly Get Better In The Past

The ageing man Uli Hannemann has a tougher going than many people think. His hormones are going haywire, his wife has left him, and his best friend is now his urologist. The clown in his menopause no longer has a clear sense of the world. What does the heterosexual white middle-aged man go for when he's not ageing unattractively or bluffing his way through sausage stands with salacious remarks and mansplaining? Is there a little black heart beating somewhere deep beneath this mountain of rotten flesh, malice and stubbornness?

Sartyr Verlag | First Edition 2020 | ISBN 978-3-947106-64-6